Monday, July 21, 2014

On Choosing Love

When Brad and I got engaged, some people asked me what was different this time. 
Why now, when not before?

If you are new around here, let me catch you up a little. 
Brad and I met in preschool and were best friends through all of high school.
He left on an LDS mission, and I went to college.
He came home and we dated, but it just didn't work out. 
Eventually, I left on an LDS mission.
When I came back, things were just different. In the best way possible.
And the time was right.
The difference?
I chose to love.
If you want more than this reader's digest version, check out the whole story here.

So what do I mean when I say that I chose to love?
Well, before my mission, the first time we dated, I was constantly seeking reasons why I should 
or should not pursue the relationship. For each thing I adored, I found something I didn't.
I prayed and prayed, and felt more and more unsettled.
So eventually, I just decided to be done. Brad felt the same way.

The second time around, I started down the path of overanalyzing everything. 
Were Brad and I really "meant to be?"
Were we "soul mates?"
Could we be together forever?

I was praying and praying to know if I should move forward with Brad.
I was wondering if it was too soon. If I was totally crazy.
And then I had a bit of a break through.

This is from my journal right around the time that we started dating:

7 Feb 2013
On the way to Brad's house tonight, I found myself thinking “oh I hope I get an answer that this is right because I really want it to be right!” And then it hit me. I really do want it. I want it to work out. I am for the first time really acting to bring it about. And I know that the Lord knows all of those things and He wants me to be happy. Maybe it didn’t work out with Brad before because I didn’t truly want it. It was not the time. But now, I feel like things are different. The Lord is responding to my prayers.
I just have to pay attention.

From then, I decided to choose Brad. 
He was the very best man I had ever known.
He served the Lord and loved God more than anyone or anything else.
He was a hard worker.
He was kind and loving.
He served others because he wanted to. Because he loved them.
He was accomplished and had goals and dreams.
He treated me like a queen.
He was everything I had ever wanted, 
and I knew the Lord approved.

So I stopped worrying about whether or not we were meant to be.
I stopped wondering if there could be such a thing as "soul mates."
I stopped questioning my own thoughts and feelings.
And I chose to love.




Was Brad absolutely perfect?
No.
Was I?
Definitely not.
Did I stop worrying completely?
Of course I didn't.
But I chose faith. And I chose love.
And in the end, I think that's what God wants for us.

Thank you to Darby Elizabeth Photography for the amazing pictures!


34 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, Stephanie! We sure do miss you! Maybe we can get together before we leave again for Provo!

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  2. You guys are adorable and I love this

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  3. I needed to hear this! Such a good reminder.

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    Replies
    1. It's easy to forget sometimes, but isn't it wonderful that we can choose? I needed to remember, too!

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  4. You're so right - no relationship is perfect - no person is perfect - ya just gotta love!

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  5. I'm a big believer that when things don't work out, it's just not the right time, and it looks like this is a great example of this!

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    Replies
    1. Laura, you are so right. Timing is everything!

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  6. Choosing love is definitely one of the best choices ever. So glad it it ended up working out and that you are happily married now!

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    Replies
    1. It really is a great choice, Carly!

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  7. So sweet! Congrats on getting to marry your best friend.

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  8. Sweet, sweet story. Darling! And love the photos.

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  9. What a beautiful post! Your blog is precious and I am so glad I found you through Grow Your Blog!

    xoxo
    Lauren
    http://sincerelymrslo.blogspot.com/

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Lauren!! So fun to get to know you and I'm loving your blog too :)

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  10. What a great post :) congratulations on what sounds like a wonderful commitment and marriage. lovely pics :)

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  11. it's so difficult to know really whether this is 'it' etc etc - i don't think it maybe hits you like a lightning bolt all the time in the way some people believe it does, but it does in other ways that you might not expect! great post!

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    1. So true. You have to see all the little things pointing you in that direction!

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  12. these photos are perfect, and your words are so true! you need to choose to love, choose to fight for it, and choose it day after day. :)

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    Replies
    1. You are so right, Betsy! It's not just a one time choice... it's a daily commitment!

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  13. You are a beautiful couple! Thank you for sharing ♥

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  14. You're are a gorgeous couple :) I loved reading your love story!!

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  15. Adorable post and pictures! Beautiful couple! :)

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  16. You guys are adorable, and that is such a sweet story!

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  17. This is so beautiful and such a great story! Glad you made the decision that was right for you :)

    xo, Hima
    Hima Hearts

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  18. The photography is really spot on. Beautiful.

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  19. What a beautiful, happy couple!

    Katie <3

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