Monday, February 1, 2016
Love At First Sight
I had never seen you before, but I already knew so much about you. You were spunky and feisty from the moment I first felt you moving inside of me. You loved music. You recognized my voice and your daddy's voice. You liked to have books read to you. I couldn't see you, but I could feel your every movement. I loved you. I was humbled to know that you needed me more than you ever would again. To breathe. To eat. To survive. Inside of my belly, you were safe and content.
I spent hours and days wondering what you would look like. What you would be like. Would you have my hair? Your daddy's eyes? My lips? Would you like music as much as when you were in my belly? Would you be right handed or left? Would you become a teacher? Doctor? Lawyer? What would be your favorite food? Favorite color? Favorite subject in school? I was obviously getting ahead of myself.
And then other questions came. Scary questions. What if I was a terrible mom? How do you even take care of a baby? Would you be warm enough? Too warm? What if you couldn't nurse well? What if you didn't like your blankets/crib/binkie? What would I do when you got sick for the first time? How would I know what you needed when you cried?
Still more questions came as your arrival drew nearer. I was so excited to meet you. To finally hold you in my arms. And terribly worried that I would have no idea what I was doing.
The day came. After hours of labor, they finally placed you on my chest. You were beautiful, healthy, perfect. I held you close and whispered hello in your ear. I told you I loved you so much. And in that moment, all those worries melted away. I was prepared. I would do my best. God would lead us along. The moment I saw you, my heart grew to almost bursting. I loved you so much. And that was enough.