Monday, February 1, 2016

Love At First Sight


I had never seen you before, but I already knew so much about you. You were spunky and feisty from the moment I first felt you moving inside of me. You loved music. You recognized my voice and your daddy's voice. You liked to have books read to you. I couldn't see you, but I could feel your every movement. I loved you. I was humbled to know that you needed me more than you ever would again.  To breathe. To eat. To survive. Inside of my belly, you were safe and content.

I spent hours and days wondering what you would look like. What you would be like. Would you have my hair? Your daddy's eyes? My lips? Would you like music as much as when you were in my belly? Would you be right handed or left? Would you become a teacher? Doctor? Lawyer? What would be your favorite food? Favorite color? Favorite subject in school? I was obviously getting ahead of myself.

And then other questions came. Scary questions. What if I was a terrible mom? How do you even take care of a baby? Would you be warm enough? Too warm? What if you couldn't nurse well? What if you didn't like your blankets/crib/binkie? What would I do when you got sick for the first time? How would I know what you needed when you cried?

Still more questions came as your arrival drew nearer. I was so excited to meet you. To finally hold you in my arms. And terribly worried that I would have no idea what I was doing.

The day came. After hours of labor, they finally placed you on my chest. You were beautiful, healthy, perfect. I held you close and whispered hello in your ear. I told you I loved you so much. And in that moment, all those worries melted away. I was prepared. I would do my best. God would lead us along. The moment I saw you, my heart grew to almost bursting. I loved you so much. And that was enough.




19 comments:

  1. Beautiful post!! Yes, motherhood is definitely a journey of unknowns, but also one of the best journeys you can take.

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    1. You are so right, Emmy! It has been the most rewarding journey I've ever been on!

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  2. So beautiful! I've had baby thoughts on my mind a lot lately and this just hit home so perfectly. And yes, I'm crying. :)
    ~Rhonda

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    1. Oh Rhonda, I just love you! So excited for you and your upcoming addition. Love watching your little family grow!

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  3. I don’t have kids so I won’t pretend to understand the full level of love, emotion and connection you felt in this moment. However I remember the first time I saw my nephew laying in the nursery, I was filled with so much love and just wanted to protect him. Great honest piece of writing.

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    1. That is so beautiful! It is amazing watching a new baby come into the world!

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  4. What a beautiful baby! I remember all those questions that bombarded me in late pregnancy but none of that mattered when I saw my little guy.

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    1. Isn't it amazing how all of our worries can melt away in a moment?

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  5. really nice post! beautiful baby :)

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  6. What a beautiful post and a beautiful new little one!

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  7. Such a beautiful post, your baby is adorable. Love the picture of you both together!! Congratualtions on your little bundle of joy :)
    xx, Kusum | www.sveeteskapes.com

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    1. It's one of my very favorite photos! The first time I met my baby was the most special moment ever.

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  8. Congrats on the newest member of your family. Your letter to your baby is very sweet. I hope you put a copy in the baby book (if you're doing one).

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    1. I love adding blog posts to her baby book!

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  9. Beautiful Kailei. My third baby turns two tomorrow and I have been reflecting a lot on the days leading up to, and after her birth. She is a free spirit and has become such a little person so quickly. Where does the time go?! Those days when you wonder how it will all work out, and then once you realize that it just does... being a mom is an amazing whirlwind. :)

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    1. Thank you, Justine! Time truly does fly so quickly. It's amazing to see that my baby already has such a distinct personality. It's just too fast! Can't believe that your baby will be three.

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  10. Hey....who's cutting all those onions in here? I miss when my Little Man was a little baby. He just turned three and it seems like 3 months have passed and not three years. I can't wait to have another.

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    1. Oh, time goes WAY too fast! I can't even imagine how much faster it will get. I already feel like the last 10 months were only a few days. Wasn't it just yesterday that I held her in my arms for the first time??

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  11. What a sweet, sweet post! So adorable :)

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