Monday, July 24, 2017

To My Firstborn: A Letter to my Daughter as you Become a Big Sister



Dearest Little One,

It seems like just yesterday that we welcomed you into the world. And yet, somehow, more than two years have passed by and you are growing up so fast. You are everything I had hoped you would be and more. You are a joy and a light in our home. And now, you are about to become a big sister.

I have so many thoughts and things to say to you. You made me a mother. You have taught me so many lessons. You are infinitely patient with me. You see my best, even when I'm at my worst. And as excited as I am for the arrival of your little sister, I have found myself almost mourning this time of my life. Things are going to change. And I worry that I will miss this time. And then I feel guilty for those feelings. I don't know if what I'm feeling is normal, but I will miss so many things about our life right now.

I will miss the way we can sit for an hour at a time reading your favorite books. I'm afraid that you will cry and not understand when I have to go tend to your sister after just a book or two. I will miss the way we sit, with your arm wrapped around mine. I will miss being able to say 'yes' every time you ask for 'just one more' and we end up reading for another half hour.

I will miss the way you run up to me, grab my face between your hands, and say "Mommy and Kymri, best friends forever!" Because you will have a new little bestie. And I know I will be so glad, but for now I am just a little sad.

I worry about disappointing you. Right now, I can almost always say yes. Yes, we can sit and play with your princess castle. Yes, we can do a craft right this moment. Yes, we can get all the paints out. But in three more months, I know that I will have to say 'not right now' sometimes. I'll have to wait until after I nurse the baby. After I get her down for a nap. After bath. After this diaper change. And I worry that you won't understand. That you will be so sad that I'm no longer at your beck and call. And I worry that I won't give you the attention you need.

I will miss the uninterrupted time that we get to spend together. I will miss the one-on-one time. I will miss being able to give you my undivided attention.

But they say that somehow with each child, my heart will expand. I will have room enough for both of you. I will have love enough for both of you. Life is going to change, but deep down I know that it is only going to get even better. Even more beautiful. Even more full.

I can't promise that it won't be a difficult transition for you. But I can promise that I will still be there for you. I will still love you with my whole heart. I will still give you all that I can. I might have to say 'not right now,' but I promise that we will get to it. I will still spend time with you. You aren't being replaced. We are just getting another best friend!

And I know that you are going to be the most amazing big sister. Because when I find myself worrying about these things, you do something to help me realize that everything is going to be alright. You will kiss my belly and say "I love you, baby!" You will ask me when your new baby can come out to play. You will tell me how excited you are for your new baby to get here. You will take out your dolls and practice rocking your baby. And I know that we are going to be more than okay.

So for the next three months, let's read all your books. Let's lay on a blanket in the yard for as long as you want. Let's have a tea party and invite all of your stuffed animals.

But remember that there is even more fun to be had. And in three months, we will surely wonder how we ever got along without our new precious baby.

I love you my little one,
Mommy


mother daughter


8 comments:

  1. I remember thinking "How can I love this new baby as much as I love Michael". But, the minute they put the new baby in your arms, the love for this new baby is there!!! You will love it just as much and just as fiercely as you do Kymri. Also, you will 2 set of grandparents who will have her undivided attention (after Michael and Kyla leave) to ease her into her new position. She WILL adjust. She may have to go through a few tantrums and test you a few times, but if you make her the "big sister" and tell her how much you need her with baby, she will adjust. Explain that when baby sleeps is your time together (maybe you will have to "help" you do chores and other things), but I know how much she likes being in charge. Plan meals that she can help make. Teach her how to sort laundry. Plan "project time". It probably will be hard at first, but she is resilient and will adjust. Just give her time!! So excited to see your new little "Sugarbug". Love you all!!

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    1. You are so right! I know that it will all be more than good. Just hard to imagine all the changes from this side. haha. But I am so excited and I know that my love for these little ones will only grow.

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  2. Such a sweet letter to your daughter. Good luck with the transition.

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    1. Thank you so much Sara! I'm excited to see all that comes as we welcome out second little girl into our family.

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  3. This is so sweet! I remember these feelings well when I was pregnant with my last baby. You are right, in a few short months you'll wonder how you got along with out the baby! <#

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  4. This letter is so sweet! I definitely want to write a letter to my daughter when she becomes a sibling!

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  5. How sweet are you guys? I wish I had thought to do this!

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  6. This is so emotional and yet so heart touching, every line you said is just amazing and I can't tell you how this blog means to me. Great work

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