Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Things I've Learned After 5 Years of Date Night

Brad and I have had some kind of a date every week for the last 5 years. (Can you believe our 5 year anniversary is next week??) We’re pretty proud of that! In a spirit of full honesty, it hasn’t always been the perfect date. Some weeks were truly magical. Like a gondola ride on the lake while our gondolier sang romantic Italian arias. Some were a typical dinner date. Some were fun stay at home dates. But others were a last minute game after finally getting the girls to sleep. And still others were slightly forced, quick Netflix dates simply because it was Friday and we were “supposed” to have date night. While date night is more often awesome than not, it’s rarely perfect. But in the end, I’m always glad when we make it happen, make it a priority, and make it fun. 

Today, I’m thinking about some of the things that I’ve learned in these 5 years simply because we made date night a priority. 

A marriage is only as good as the time you put into it. 
Our marriage is at its best when we are making each other a priority. I can seriously see a difference in the way we communicate when we’ve made date night a priority from when we haven’t. 

Having a go to date for busy weeks when you haven’t had time to plan might make you “an old married couple,” but is there really anything wrong with that? 
I sometimes think about my Grandparents and their predictable weekends. They’d usually hit up a buffet and then watch TV together. Predictable. Sometimes Brad and I aren’t all that different. On busy weeks, we’ll likely grab some ice cream and play a game. Nothing wrong with an old standby. 

How you connect is more important than what you do. 
When we first got married, we planned more elaborate/involved dates. But with time and children, we’re usually more laid back about what we do. I care so much more that we get time to talk, catch up, and reconnect than I care about what we’re doing. I’d much rather grab some Chinese takeout and sit on the floor talking and laughing for an hour than I would spend that same hour in an escape the room where we don’t have any time to talk. Don’t get me wrong.... I love the more exciting, more elaborate date nights as well. But as time has gone on, I mainly just want time to actually talk and connect. 

Date night allows you to see your spouse in a different light. 
During the week, I’m in full mommy mode. And Brad is in full attorney mode. I’m spending magical days reading books, singing songs, and make believing. He’s spending stressful days researching and writing, making conference calls, and meeting clients. I’m worried about finding the laundry room floor and he’s worried about getting his project in on time. I’m rocking the pony tail and T-shirt. He’s sporting his slacks and dress shirts. I’m driving to swimming lessons and the grocery store. He’s commuting 40 minutes each day. But on Friday night, I’m a wife and he’s a husband. I put on a little blush and he wears those jeans I love. I {might} actually do my hair. He wears a little cologne. It’s different. We get to see each other for each other. 



So no matter where you are in life, I hope you’re making date night a priority. If finances are tight or if you can splurge every week, if time is short or you have hours on end together, if kids take your mental and physical energy or it’s still just the two of you, making date night a priority is worth every effort. What have you learned from dating your spouse? 


1 comment:

  1. That last one is perfection!!! I love all of your tips and thoughts though!

    ReplyDelete

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